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Mastering NON-verbal communication

Michael

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How to Master Non-Verbal Communication And Appear Sexier On Your Dating Photos

There’s a saying that goes “one picture is worth a thousand words”. Why? Because as humans, we are constantly communicating with each other by non-verbal signals (non-Verbal Communication is the transmission of signals through a nonverbal platform such as eye contact, facial expressions, gestures, and posture. Since photos mostly show body language and facial expression, we will disregard the rest). And these signals are communicated and interpreted by our subconscious limbic system which bypasses the analytical part of the brain. What this means is that we have very little control over these signals and they tend to be way more honest and authentic than all the words we say. Therefore, we intuitively trust these non-verbal signals more than actual words. And women can tell so much about you just by looking at non-verbal signals on your photos.
Today, I want to share some very important concepts on non-verbal communication and help you look like a total sexy badass on your tinder photos.
I think we can all agree that most women are attracted to very masculine men and not weak little boys. So, in order to maximize your success with online dating, you want to display traits of masculinity with your non-verbal signals. So what exactly does it mean to be “masculine”? A wise friend once told me that being masculine means being able to stay calm among a sea of chaos, being a man on his mission, being a strong, benevolent leader, unconditionally. I couldn’t agree more.
How would you describe someone like that? Some words that directly come to mind are: relaxed, content, stoic, determined, driven, loving, and fearless. If you haven’t embodied these traits, it’s time to start working on becoming a better man. But what if you already have some of these qualities and just don’t know how to show them via 4-5 photos? What if you just tense up every time the camera comes out and your photos just don’t do your justice? Well keep reading......
If you are already opening a new browser tab and googling masculine photos poses....STOP RIGHT NOW! It’s not how it works. When I first started to take tinder photos for men, I would try to pose/directs my clients as if they were highly trained models. But it almost never worked. Guys always looked a bit robotic and incongruent. And over the years I realized that your non-verbal communication is a reflection of your inner emotional state. And you can’t really cheat the highly intuitive limbic system with poses, sadly.
In other words, get in the right emotional state first and good non-verbal signals will follow. This has been the very foundation of my approach to taking tinder photos that actually work.
Occasionally, I’ll get a client who naturally has really good non-verbal communication and doesn’t need too much direction, but that is super rare and 90% if the clients I meet need some sort of coaching. Statistically speaking, you the reader probably fall into the later category. But no worries: this is not a death sentence. I’m going to show you how I get my clients into the right emotional state and fix their non-verbal communication. If you apply these steps on your next photoshoot, you’ll see a big difference. But keep in mind that I’m highly intuitive when it comes to reading body languages and facial expressions, and very empathetic and good at influencing emotions. Therefore, I’m able to give accurate feedback and effective guidance to my clients. It’s a rare skill and only a small percentage of photographers can do this. So please hire the right photographer who can do that for you. Or come to Vancouver and hire me haha.
Anyways, enough self-promo, let’s get started!
The first thing I tell my clients is, let go of any pressure/expectation and become as relaxed and present as possible. What exactly does that mean? It means that you are fully grounded in your body and have very little mental chatter. You are not thinking about the past and future, you are not self conscious about how you appear on the camera, and you are not worried about what the passerby think of you. You are just enjoying living in the now. If you have been practicing mediation this will come very easy to you. But for those of you who aren’t new age hippies, how do you get to a point of full relaxation and presence? Easy, and here are the simple steps.
Step 1, forget that there’s a photographer taking photos of you. Pretend you are just waiting for a buddy who’s running a bit late, and you are just chilling while waiting for him. This will help you ease off the pressure you may put on yourself. So just chill out, you are not under any pressure to put on a sexy look for the camera at this moment. Just check out the surroundings and observe the people/dogs/cool cars/pretty girls walking by. You get the idea.
Step 2, tell the photographer to put away the camera (until you are in the zone) and just make some small talk with them. Crack some jokes and get to know each other a bit more. This will help you build more familiarity with the photographer and make you feel more comfortable (relaxed) around them.
Step 3, tell yourself that you are not in any rush to “get in the zone” and start the photoshoot session. Of course logically it makes sense to want to be ready ASAP since you are paying for this shit. But that would just be counter productive and add more unnecessary pressure on yourself.
Almost everyone that has come on my shoot needed some time at the start to get relaxed and loose anyway. So there’s no need to rush it or be worried. If you are feeling tense at the beginning, just trust the process and know that as the time passes you’ll be relaxed. How much time is needed is dependent on the individual. (Some may take just 20 mins, some may take an hour but eventually everyone will be) So just be patient and chill out, you’ll be fine.
So you’ve done all these steps, how do you know that you have reached this relaxed emotional state? Some common signs are: you are not thinking much, you are having a good time, your feet feel heavy and firmly planted on the ground, and your breathing is deep, slow and even. There may even be a warm sensation inside of your body. And if you put awareness on a specific area of your body (for example the bottom of your left foot, your right index finger, your dick and balls) you can almost isolate and feel that body part.
By now your body language and facial expression should already look very calm and relaxed. You’ve built a solid foundation for looking masculine on your photos. The hardest part of the photoshoot is over, congrats. If the photographer can find the right angles and your most flattering side, your non-verbal signals will be good enough already for tinder. But we are not here to settle for “good enough”, are we? How do we take our non-verbal signals to the next level and crush the photoshoot?
We will go in-depth about all those in the next part of the post, stayed tuned!

How to Master Non-Verbal Communication And Appear Sexier On Your Dating Photos part 2

This the second part of a post on how to master non-verbal communication on your tinder photos. Last time we talked about what is non-verbal communication, why is it important and how it significantly affects your online dating success. Today we will go into details about how to demonstrate masculine and attractive non-verbal signals on your dating photos.

Before we start, let’s talk about what you should NEVER do on your dating photos. Here are some most common body language and facial expression mistakes I’ve seen from my clients.

Body Language Mistakes

1. Making your body smaller and subconsciously taking up less physical space. Some examples of this are: both feet and arms very close to each other (versus spread apart and taking up more space, but there’s a fine line between being dominant and being an over the top tryhard), hunching your back and not standing up as straight/tall as possible, putting your hands entires in your pockets (versus relaxed and exposed - hanging naturally and tension-less on both sides of your body)

2. Defensive and closed body language. Some examples of this are: crossing your arms in front of your chest (Or holding an object in front of your chest), shoulders stiff and raised to your ears (versus very relaxed and dropped low), and dropping your chin to hide your neck (versus chin up and exposing your neck)

3. Fidgeting and touching your body parts because you are feeling nervous, some examples of this are: touching the side of your neck, rubbing your sweaty palms on your laps, and playing with your clothes and accessories

Facial Expression Mistakes

1. Forced smile where you lack emotions in your eyes

2. Facial muscles are tense and awkward from discomfort and anxiety (Forehead wrinkles and knitted eyebrows)

3. Displaying fear, sadness, doubt, submissiveness, low-confidence, anger

4. Looking apathetic and tired (Get a good night of sleep and eat well before the shoot, it’s more exhausting than you think)

Again, it is still very important that you hire a photographer that can read non-verbal signals clearly and give you feedback in real time. Even if you know these in theory, you may not have the awareness to stop yourself from masking mistakes during the photoshoot. So keep checking in with the photographer (HIRE A REALLY GOOD ONE, THEY ALL SUCK UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE!!) and check the photos from time to time to make sure you are on the right track, do not wrap the shoot until you’ve got a few pictures that look good.

PS. IF ALL THINGS FAIL AND YOU JUST CANT GET THE FACIAL EXPRESSION PERFECT, AIM TO GET IT 90% PERFECT AND SALVAGE THE IMAGES IN PHOTOSHOP. BUT THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE LAST RESORT AND NOT 100% GUARANTEED. THE BODY LANGUAGES ARE WAY HARDER TO PHOTOSHOP SO GET IT RIGHT ON THE SPOT.

OK, so we just talked about all the mistakes you MUST avoid, now let’s get in details about how to demonstrate the desired non-verbal signals. The foundation of everything is always gonna be relaxation and sometimes you may get stressed or self-conscious in the middle of the shoot. So use the “signs of relaxation” checklist included in part one and constantly self-monitor (If we work together I’ll check on you and make sure you stay relaxed, so this won’t be necessary. But if you hired someone just assume full responsibility yourself in case the photographer suck)

Some of the masculine facial expression you can incorporate in your dating photos includes: determined, relaxed, happy, content, loving. Again, relaxation will be the baseline for everything. So it’s more like relaxed and happy, relaxed and determined, relaxed and loving. You get this idea. (This also applies to body languages.)

I think relaxed and happy, relaxed and loving and relaxed and content are some very good choices for close up shots. As previously mentioned, your facial expression is a reflection of your inner emotional state. So you actually need to feel that first. How do you do it? First, I want you to stand really still and meditate. Don’t worry about the photos for now. Clear your headspace and slow down your breathing, get in touch with your body. And as soon as you feel that you are under pressure to perform for the camera, I want you drop the worries and take a break, so you can go back into being relaxed. Once you are grounded in a state of deep relaxation, I want you to think about memories that makes you feel happy. Or you can just visualize that your life is perfect and there’s nothing to worry about, no goals to accomplish. You are just fully at ease and accepting this moment. For loving, visualize someone you care deeply about and imagine they are standing right in front of you. Make the vision vivid and vibrant, stare into their eyes and send them love with your gaze. And really try to feel those good emotions. At the same time, crack some jokes with your photographer to keep the fun positive vibe going. If you’ve done everything right, your face should be projecting these positive emotions. (At the same time, it’s your photographers job to capture the perfect moment and your angle. So having a good one is crucial)

Relaxed and determined is a good choice for shots where you are walking towards the camera. This will be combined with a purposeful walk (I’ll cover this in details later when we talk about body languages) Of course, you are still relaxed. Visualize that you are walking somewhere to get shit done. Get your boss bitch face on. If there people in your way, don’t move for anyone, walk a straight line and no hesitation. In your mind just tell yourself that you are the most important person on this street right now and everybody needs to get the fuck out of your way. This may not come natural to some of you. So just keep doing it over and over again until you get it perfect.

These are fairly easy to do for everyone. I’m not going to get into more advanced facial expressions for this post. It may get too overly complicated. So, stick with these for now and they will serve you really well.

That pretty covers the facial expression part. Let’s get into body language. The dominant body language is relaxed, open, taking up space, standing tall, claiming ownership of territory (placing your hands on walls, seat...but don’t over do this and end up looking tryhard), and exposing your vulnerable body parts (Think yourself as a primal tribal leader. You are inviting a potential threat/challenger to attack you because you are confident in yourself and know you’ll beat them to death if they try).

Legs when standing still: wide apart (without looking ridiculously over the top), and firmly planted on the ground and lowered centre of gravity. Alternatively, they can be crossed with one leg in front of another. It’s a sign of being at ease.

Legs when sitting down: spread apart and exposing your crotch, taking up a lot of space and extended away from your body, feet flat and planted on the ground.

Arms when standing still: hanging on both sides with hands out of your pocket. (One exception is thumbs out and framing your genital while the other fingers in your pocket...this is ok and a display of healthy confidence)

Arms when sitting down: spread wide apart and rested on arm cushion. Take up as much space as possible without looking tryhard.

Chest and shoulders: chest poking out and shoulders pulled back and dropped low. Make your upper body look as wide as possible. Both standing and sitting.

Neck: fully exposed and straight

Chin: slightly raised up, don’t tuck it in to cover your neck. (This is subconscious so make sure to check it from time to time) PS. Don’t do weird shit to make your jawline look sharper. Low body fat and good lighting will work much better.

So this pretty much covers the most essential things you need to know about non-verbal communication. I’ll also attach a few examples of good body language below. Go out and try them out on your next photoshoot!
 
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