7 Cringe Lines That Won’t Get You Laid And What You Should Use Instead
Hey trouble!
These are the following 7 lines I never want to see mistakenly used again!
1) “Romantic date”
2) “No ONS / “I need a connection first”
3) “What are you looking for on here?”
4) “You, me. A couple of drinks. Laughs, teases, romantic kisses. That sorta thing, build the vibe and build chemistry.”
5) “I’m going to grab your face and pull you in”
6) “Just finished a killer workout, looking nice and jacked
for our date”
7) Words that make you sound submissive and DLV, such as “Cute, Bae, Boo”
Bonus: Special shout out to Nnae talking about his native food!
Let's start with the one I see the most. “Romantic date”.
I see this most commonly dropped completely out of the blue within the first five messages.
This immediately tells the girl, “I am so into you, that I don’t even need to know anything about you, I’m already completely down.”
This demonstrates to the girl that you have low standards and is an instant DLV. We call this the “chasing frame”. The dynamic changes and she is now free to not respond because she knows she can get back to whenever she wants and you'll still be available. She can get you to continue to qualify and chase, because you will, by asking “why should I go on a date with you?”
She can demand things from you. For example, “can we meet at a restaurant close to my house”. And she will likely flake. She can spend tonight with Alex Lindberg because he just became available and if she’s spontaneously free another night when Alex isn’t, she might hit you up)
In addition, it is usually out of context and brings confusion and a lack of flow to the conversation. A typical response is, “Huh, what date?”. But the worst case scenario is that you get non-compliance with a hard, “No” that will be difficult to recover from.
Lastly, which is the real issue I have with it, is that it creates a relationship/needy frame. Women are on Tinder originally for different reasons. Some want one night stands, some want to find fuck buddies or casual sex, some want to kill time while shitting on the toilet and others want to find a boyfriend/husband.
But with the right text game, you can pull them into your frame and have the type of relationship YOU want!
As you know, everyone in the UMP team makes sure to always get feedback from every single woman we sleep with (thousands combined). I’ve had plenty of girls that were using Tinder with the intent of finding a boyfriend. Or girls who went to the club only to see a DJ.
You are the man in this situation. You can offer incredible value under the frame whichever you desire. I guarantee you. I’ve never had a girl that had incredible sex with me under a casual frame that regretted it.
The issue with setting a romantic/exclusive frame is that you are unintentionally forcing her into a box that you don’t want her in, or she might not want to be in. It makes no sense.
I have seen so many text messages where girls were completely down for an amazing same-night sexual experience, and then members drop these “romantic” lines. The girl is turned off, sometimes feeling shamed and in turn decides not to see you. The better case scenario is that she sees you under a romantic frame, but now she feels like she must act in such a way i.e. have dinner, no sex, and possibly a kiss at the end of the night.
ALTERNATIVE
You can find examples of more effective soft-closes in the group. Common ones are wine, booty massage, pussy eating, or BDSM. The important part about soft closing is waiting until you have conveyed enough value and she is qualifying & chasing you.
You also don’t need to stop using the word romantic. It’s not just one line that creates a frame. It's important to think about the overarching frame and perception of the girl. If you say romantic pussy eating session this girl is not going to be worried you are some needy guy trying to lock her down.
But if you are a super nice guy asking boring questions, then wine close using words like date and romantic then she will be likely running the other way and flaking. If you are being very sexual, she’s chasing and you talk about going down on her and then suggest meeting at your place for the romantic date - that is completely fine. When maintaining a fuckdate/sexual frame, using the word “romantic” can help to ease any pressure she may feel about the meetup and help deal with any potential slutshaming she may feel about coming straight over.
“I don’t do ONS”, “I need a connection first”
These lines once again come down to what type of frame you are setting. I see guys using this as a prophylactic method. Stealing the objection around sex is not a bad idea in the right circumstances, but this is not the right way to execute it. Firstly, you should only do it if you suspect it may become an issue. I’ve seen this line used when girls are the one pushing the interaction sexually and wanting the meet. Suddenly you shame them by saying you don’t do ONS.
The girl realizes either
1) She won’t be satisfied if she meets you (she wants sex and you don’t want to give it to her
2) You think ONS are bad and she feels judged and shamed by you.
3) If she is a girl that is not into ONS, you won’t have any ground to stand on to influence and change her perspective.
The best alternative is to say that you require chemistry first. Don’t use the word ‘connection’
I have spent a lot of time talking about connection vs. chemistry and the relationship it has to slut shaming. If you want to find out more you can check out the youtube page I have some videos there.
Honestly, it depends on who's using these words. I am still trying to figure out what exactly 'connection game' is to be honest. I still don't have a clear answer. And it varies from person to person. Connection to a girl usually means love or deep long-lasting feelings. They may feel like you are needy and want to settle down with her already, which is a very unattractive trait.
Connection for PUAS usually means verbal investment game. e.g. “What is your saddest day?”, or “What's your best memory?”. However, this is nothing more but platonic investment. Guys try to take the moral upper hand in the argument and state it's a "real connection" but it usually just ends up in friendship. Getting platonic verbal investment is fine, but it should be done under an already sexual frame. I want to be very clear. Sexualizing a conversation and getting a girl to chase you through DHVing does not mean that the interaction has less depth, meaning or sense of connectedness. If anything, I would strongly argue it's deeper than a superficial friendly interaction. By “connection game” definition, me and my doctor would have a connection then. He knows all my history and more about me than most people. But I can guarantee you we don't have a “connection”; he just has a list of facts about me. There's a big difference!
Alternative
Chemistry is again different to different people but most girls will interpret this as a feeling of being attracted to a guy. For this reason, it's a better word to use inset as it's something that can be established very early (in the same night).
Line: “I need sexual AND non-sexual chemistry first. It's very important! I hope you understand!”
Then proceed to talk about what she enjoys sexually. Or what you enjoy and get her to agree. For example, “I love giving oral. I need a woman to enjoy multiple oral orgasms. If you don't, then we may not have chemistry.”
3) “What are you looking for on here”
How do you think a girl perceives you when she hears this?
What goes through her mind?
Girls don’t like guys that are indecisive. Whether it is where you should sit, what food you should order, all the way up to sex and relationships. They want you to be dominant, confident and act with conviction. The second you ask her what she is looking for, it will subconsciously trigger the red flag that you are unable to lead.
She might also think you are looking for something serious. It’s a lot more common for women to ask questions like, “What are you looking for?” when their focus is on finding something serious and settling down, so they might associate that with you. Again, this is perceived as needy and lowers your value.
That being said, how will she answer?
It’s important to ask yourself this question with every single text you send. It’s a game of chess and you should be thinking 2 or 3 moves ahead.
Where do I want this conversation to lead, and will her response take me one step closer?
It’s almost the same every time.
“I’m looking for a relationship”, “Something serious”, “See where it goes.”
If this occurs early in the conversation before you have shown that you are comfortable with sexuality and you are nonjudgemental, then she will be worried about you shaming her. Even if she wants amazing sex on the first night there is no way she can say that to a man she barely knows!
This line almost guarantees a horrible frame. She’s now forced to say she wants something serious, and worse than that - she will likely ask it back. What I see most commonly is that the guy agrees with her. This almost guarantees that slut shaming will occur when you go for sex, leading to “LMR”.
ALTERNATIVE
Avoid this line. Instead, show her what type of interaction you want to have. Never ask. Lead with your words and actions. However, if she knows that your offer is amazing, non committal sex (to begin with), she’s more likely to accept that frame when you are leading.
If she asks you this question, depending on the context you can use the following lines.
1) “I’m looking for a girl with at least two of my weaknesses” - forces her to qualify, you can transition and make it sexual by labeling one of your weaknesses as ‘booty’ or ‘submissive’ when she asks. This line shows you have standards and also does not precisely address the seriousness of the relationship you are looking for.
2) “It depends on the girl...” - This line allows her to be dynamic with how she sees the relationship in that moment. It lets her know that you may like girls for one night or for something more serious. You cannot be boxed in as a fuckboy or a relationship guy. You are open to any dynamic and it relies on who or how the girl is. David uses this to start out the relationship as just sexual and depending on how well the girl behaves or how hard she tries, she can be promoted to something more.
This line also doesn’t box yourself in as someone looking for a relationship or just sex. If you say you’re just looking for an ONS, but she’s searching for a relationship, she may dismiss you very early on. Giving you more work. However, if you set a relationship frame with a girl who just wants to get banged out with no strings attached, the same problem could arise. This line allows you to have either way you want.
4) “You, me. A couple of drinks. Laughs, teases, romantic kisses. That sorta thing, build the vibe and build chemistry.”
I typically see this line used when the girl asks what you will be doing on the date or at your place. This response places A LOT of pressure on the date, i would argue even more than just replying “amazing sex” (which i would suggest not using either!)
Put yourself in the girls shoes.
You are about to go straight to a guys house that you have only had a conversation with on tinder.
What do you think her concerns are?
One of the biggest concerns she will have is that you will be okay if she doesn't want to have sex. Girls usually ask this to check in on your expectations. They want to know that they can say “no” without disappointing you, you getting butthurt or worst case will not give her the option to.
Even if she is craving sex, has put on her favourite panties and can't wait to jump on your di** - she still does not want a sense of pressure or expectation on sex.
Back to frames. This once again sets a needy frame. These are the types of actions of guys that want someone as their girlfriend before they have even met them. These girls will likely think you are looking to marry her and be scared away. It puts a lot of pressure on them and could be enough to blow it out. Lastly, it’s DLV - no sexually experienced dominant man about to give her the night of her life will describe it like a 15 year old boy going on his first date!
ALTERNATIVE
I would lower the compliance, reduce the pressure on sex without creating a negative frame and offer a sense of value to the experience.
The best way to respond to this concern on the day of the meet if she asks, “And what will we be doing?” is the following line.
“We will have a drink of wine, I’ll massage your booty and we will see if the chemistry is right, no expectations on my end.”
If however these are days away and she asks what you have planned, then this is the time to properly sext. Stop using these school boy lines that give the impression of neediness and lack of experience. Go check out Metin’s sexting scripts. This will create a strong emotion in the girls, create a high value perception of yourself and increase the likelihood of her meeting you.
5) “I’m going to grab your face and pull you in” / “Going to kiss you right on the face”
I’ve seen some weird lines when it comes to sexting. Read the examples in the group by the coaches and read some erotic novels to understand the type of words and imagery that girls find appealing.
Take a second to visualize this. There’s nothing sexy about grabbing a girl's face. Hinting towards kissing/making creates a more childish/inexperienced/needy perception of you.
6) “Just finished a work out looking nice and fit for out date”
This line can create the perception of being a bit of a douche. It'll either do nothing (yeah I get it soft closes) or it'll put them on the defense. It may trigger their need to amplify being the prize. I just don't like it.
Alternative
I'd much rather say something like, "just pulling out the coconut oil for our date!" and go the booty massage route.
7) “You are such a bae” / “Omg you are so cute”
Instead of using these words (which will DLV you in the conversation), you should really care about your grammar and try to make your text as easy to understand as possible. Keep in mind that the lines & words you use have a big impact on the girls perception of you.
You should use words that affect her perception of you positively.
If you want to validate a girl, instead of calling her a bae, baby or cute you can make it more sexual which is gonna help your conversation to go sexual drastically like naughty, bad, or wild.
Your words and the lines you use have to match with the personality you are conveying over text!
Bonus
“I'm going to cook you my special African delicacy.
Every single word you text is incredibly valuable and adds to your overall perception of the women. Make sure that all these words are aimed at creating a positive version of yourself that is compatible with a girl wanting to meet you under a sexual frame. Not friendzoned!
Hey trouble!
These are the following 7 lines I never want to see mistakenly used again!
1) “Romantic date”
2) “No ONS / “I need a connection first”
3) “What are you looking for on here?”
4) “You, me. A couple of drinks. Laughs, teases, romantic kisses. That sorta thing, build the vibe and build chemistry.”
5) “I’m going to grab your face and pull you in”
6) “Just finished a killer workout, looking nice and jacked
for our date”
7) Words that make you sound submissive and DLV, such as “Cute, Bae, Boo”
Bonus: Special shout out to Nnae talking about his native food!
Let's start with the one I see the most. “Romantic date”.
I see this most commonly dropped completely out of the blue within the first five messages.
This immediately tells the girl, “I am so into you, that I don’t even need to know anything about you, I’m already completely down.”
This demonstrates to the girl that you have low standards and is an instant DLV. We call this the “chasing frame”. The dynamic changes and she is now free to not respond because she knows she can get back to whenever she wants and you'll still be available. She can get you to continue to qualify and chase, because you will, by asking “why should I go on a date with you?”
She can demand things from you. For example, “can we meet at a restaurant close to my house”. And she will likely flake. She can spend tonight with Alex Lindberg because he just became available and if she’s spontaneously free another night when Alex isn’t, she might hit you up)
In addition, it is usually out of context and brings confusion and a lack of flow to the conversation. A typical response is, “Huh, what date?”. But the worst case scenario is that you get non-compliance with a hard, “No” that will be difficult to recover from.
Lastly, which is the real issue I have with it, is that it creates a relationship/needy frame. Women are on Tinder originally for different reasons. Some want one night stands, some want to find fuck buddies or casual sex, some want to kill time while shitting on the toilet and others want to find a boyfriend/husband.
But with the right text game, you can pull them into your frame and have the type of relationship YOU want!
As you know, everyone in the UMP team makes sure to always get feedback from every single woman we sleep with (thousands combined). I’ve had plenty of girls that were using Tinder with the intent of finding a boyfriend. Or girls who went to the club only to see a DJ.
You are the man in this situation. You can offer incredible value under the frame whichever you desire. I guarantee you. I’ve never had a girl that had incredible sex with me under a casual frame that regretted it.
The issue with setting a romantic/exclusive frame is that you are unintentionally forcing her into a box that you don’t want her in, or she might not want to be in. It makes no sense.
I have seen so many text messages where girls were completely down for an amazing same-night sexual experience, and then members drop these “romantic” lines. The girl is turned off, sometimes feeling shamed and in turn decides not to see you. The better case scenario is that she sees you under a romantic frame, but now she feels like she must act in such a way i.e. have dinner, no sex, and possibly a kiss at the end of the night.
ALTERNATIVE
You can find examples of more effective soft-closes in the group. Common ones are wine, booty massage, pussy eating, or BDSM. The important part about soft closing is waiting until you have conveyed enough value and she is qualifying & chasing you.
You also don’t need to stop using the word romantic. It’s not just one line that creates a frame. It's important to think about the overarching frame and perception of the girl. If you say romantic pussy eating session this girl is not going to be worried you are some needy guy trying to lock her down.
But if you are a super nice guy asking boring questions, then wine close using words like date and romantic then she will be likely running the other way and flaking. If you are being very sexual, she’s chasing and you talk about going down on her and then suggest meeting at your place for the romantic date - that is completely fine. When maintaining a fuckdate/sexual frame, using the word “romantic” can help to ease any pressure she may feel about the meetup and help deal with any potential slutshaming she may feel about coming straight over.
“I don’t do ONS”, “I need a connection first”
These lines once again come down to what type of frame you are setting. I see guys using this as a prophylactic method. Stealing the objection around sex is not a bad idea in the right circumstances, but this is not the right way to execute it. Firstly, you should only do it if you suspect it may become an issue. I’ve seen this line used when girls are the one pushing the interaction sexually and wanting the meet. Suddenly you shame them by saying you don’t do ONS.
The girl realizes either
1) She won’t be satisfied if she meets you (she wants sex and you don’t want to give it to her
2) You think ONS are bad and she feels judged and shamed by you.
3) If she is a girl that is not into ONS, you won’t have any ground to stand on to influence and change her perspective.
The best alternative is to say that you require chemistry first. Don’t use the word ‘connection’
I have spent a lot of time talking about connection vs. chemistry and the relationship it has to slut shaming. If you want to find out more you can check out the youtube page I have some videos there.
Honestly, it depends on who's using these words. I am still trying to figure out what exactly 'connection game' is to be honest. I still don't have a clear answer. And it varies from person to person. Connection to a girl usually means love or deep long-lasting feelings. They may feel like you are needy and want to settle down with her already, which is a very unattractive trait.
Connection for PUAS usually means verbal investment game. e.g. “What is your saddest day?”, or “What's your best memory?”. However, this is nothing more but platonic investment. Guys try to take the moral upper hand in the argument and state it's a "real connection" but it usually just ends up in friendship. Getting platonic verbal investment is fine, but it should be done under an already sexual frame. I want to be very clear. Sexualizing a conversation and getting a girl to chase you through DHVing does not mean that the interaction has less depth, meaning or sense of connectedness. If anything, I would strongly argue it's deeper than a superficial friendly interaction. By “connection game” definition, me and my doctor would have a connection then. He knows all my history and more about me than most people. But I can guarantee you we don't have a “connection”; he just has a list of facts about me. There's a big difference!
Alternative
Chemistry is again different to different people but most girls will interpret this as a feeling of being attracted to a guy. For this reason, it's a better word to use inset as it's something that can be established very early (in the same night).
Line: “I need sexual AND non-sexual chemistry first. It's very important! I hope you understand!”
Then proceed to talk about what she enjoys sexually. Or what you enjoy and get her to agree. For example, “I love giving oral. I need a woman to enjoy multiple oral orgasms. If you don't, then we may not have chemistry.”
3) “What are you looking for on here”
How do you think a girl perceives you when she hears this?
What goes through her mind?
Girls don’t like guys that are indecisive. Whether it is where you should sit, what food you should order, all the way up to sex and relationships. They want you to be dominant, confident and act with conviction. The second you ask her what she is looking for, it will subconsciously trigger the red flag that you are unable to lead.
She might also think you are looking for something serious. It’s a lot more common for women to ask questions like, “What are you looking for?” when their focus is on finding something serious and settling down, so they might associate that with you. Again, this is perceived as needy and lowers your value.
That being said, how will she answer?
It’s important to ask yourself this question with every single text you send. It’s a game of chess and you should be thinking 2 or 3 moves ahead.
Where do I want this conversation to lead, and will her response take me one step closer?
It’s almost the same every time.
“I’m looking for a relationship”, “Something serious”, “See where it goes.”
If this occurs early in the conversation before you have shown that you are comfortable with sexuality and you are nonjudgemental, then she will be worried about you shaming her. Even if she wants amazing sex on the first night there is no way she can say that to a man she barely knows!
This line almost guarantees a horrible frame. She’s now forced to say she wants something serious, and worse than that - she will likely ask it back. What I see most commonly is that the guy agrees with her. This almost guarantees that slut shaming will occur when you go for sex, leading to “LMR”.
ALTERNATIVE
Avoid this line. Instead, show her what type of interaction you want to have. Never ask. Lead with your words and actions. However, if she knows that your offer is amazing, non committal sex (to begin with), she’s more likely to accept that frame when you are leading.
If she asks you this question, depending on the context you can use the following lines.
1) “I’m looking for a girl with at least two of my weaknesses” - forces her to qualify, you can transition and make it sexual by labeling one of your weaknesses as ‘booty’ or ‘submissive’ when she asks. This line shows you have standards and also does not precisely address the seriousness of the relationship you are looking for.
2) “It depends on the girl...” - This line allows her to be dynamic with how she sees the relationship in that moment. It lets her know that you may like girls for one night or for something more serious. You cannot be boxed in as a fuckboy or a relationship guy. You are open to any dynamic and it relies on who or how the girl is. David uses this to start out the relationship as just sexual and depending on how well the girl behaves or how hard she tries, she can be promoted to something more.
This line also doesn’t box yourself in as someone looking for a relationship or just sex. If you say you’re just looking for an ONS, but she’s searching for a relationship, she may dismiss you very early on. Giving you more work. However, if you set a relationship frame with a girl who just wants to get banged out with no strings attached, the same problem could arise. This line allows you to have either way you want.
4) “You, me. A couple of drinks. Laughs, teases, romantic kisses. That sorta thing, build the vibe and build chemistry.”
I typically see this line used when the girl asks what you will be doing on the date or at your place. This response places A LOT of pressure on the date, i would argue even more than just replying “amazing sex” (which i would suggest not using either!)
Put yourself in the girls shoes.
You are about to go straight to a guys house that you have only had a conversation with on tinder.
What do you think her concerns are?
One of the biggest concerns she will have is that you will be okay if she doesn't want to have sex. Girls usually ask this to check in on your expectations. They want to know that they can say “no” without disappointing you, you getting butthurt or worst case will not give her the option to.
Even if she is craving sex, has put on her favourite panties and can't wait to jump on your di** - she still does not want a sense of pressure or expectation on sex.
Back to frames. This once again sets a needy frame. These are the types of actions of guys that want someone as their girlfriend before they have even met them. These girls will likely think you are looking to marry her and be scared away. It puts a lot of pressure on them and could be enough to blow it out. Lastly, it’s DLV - no sexually experienced dominant man about to give her the night of her life will describe it like a 15 year old boy going on his first date!
ALTERNATIVE
I would lower the compliance, reduce the pressure on sex without creating a negative frame and offer a sense of value to the experience.
The best way to respond to this concern on the day of the meet if she asks, “And what will we be doing?” is the following line.
“We will have a drink of wine, I’ll massage your booty and we will see if the chemistry is right, no expectations on my end.”
If however these are days away and she asks what you have planned, then this is the time to properly sext. Stop using these school boy lines that give the impression of neediness and lack of experience. Go check out Metin’s sexting scripts. This will create a strong emotion in the girls, create a high value perception of yourself and increase the likelihood of her meeting you.
5) “I’m going to grab your face and pull you in” / “Going to kiss you right on the face”
I’ve seen some weird lines when it comes to sexting. Read the examples in the group by the coaches and read some erotic novels to understand the type of words and imagery that girls find appealing.
Take a second to visualize this. There’s nothing sexy about grabbing a girl's face. Hinting towards kissing/making creates a more childish/inexperienced/needy perception of you.
6) “Just finished a work out looking nice and fit for out date”
This line can create the perception of being a bit of a douche. It'll either do nothing (yeah I get it soft closes) or it'll put them on the defense. It may trigger their need to amplify being the prize. I just don't like it.
Alternative
I'd much rather say something like, "just pulling out the coconut oil for our date!" and go the booty massage route.
7) “You are such a bae” / “Omg you are so cute”
Instead of using these words (which will DLV you in the conversation), you should really care about your grammar and try to make your text as easy to understand as possible. Keep in mind that the lines & words you use have a big impact on the girls perception of you.
You should use words that affect her perception of you positively.
If you want to validate a girl, instead of calling her a bae, baby or cute you can make it more sexual which is gonna help your conversation to go sexual drastically like naughty, bad, or wild.
Your words and the lines you use have to match with the personality you are conveying over text!
Bonus
“I'm going to cook you my special African delicacy.
Every single word you text is incredibly valuable and adds to your overall perception of the women. Make sure that all these words are aimed at creating a positive version of yourself that is compatible with a girl wanting to meet you under a sexual frame. Not friendzoned!