Make sure to reward compliance for example when she jumps through a hoop and punish non compliance.
The key is to calibrate the level of reward to level of investment.
When you think it's puttin her on a pedestal I imagine the scenario you are thinking of is a guy that is extremely impressed with even the tiniest but of compliance
Guy: how old are you?
Girl : 21
Guy: omg that's amazing, this is the greatest day of my life.. I'm so happy I met you
Of course the girl is going to think you have no value and you have put her on a pedastool.
The right amount on reward in this case would simply be another hoop (you are giving her more attention and another question) or simply commenting on her age.
I also try to keep my rewards a little varied, like a slot machine, so that it's not entirely predictable.
The biggest mistake I see is people punishing compliance too often, you should avoid this.
I think what might help is realising that attention is reward. You don't have to go overboard, simply keep giving her attention when she complies and if it's a bigger level of compliance you can simply say "nice" ", that's cool" "how adventurous of you" etc etc
The key is to calibrate the level of reward to level of investment.
When you think it's puttin her on a pedestal I imagine the scenario you are thinking of is a guy that is extremely impressed with even the tiniest but of compliance
Guy: how old are you?
Girl : 21
Guy: omg that's amazing, this is the greatest day of my life.. I'm so happy I met you
Of course the girl is going to think you have no value and you have put her on a pedastool.
The right amount on reward in this case would simply be another hoop (you are giving her more attention and another question) or simply commenting on her age.
I also try to keep my rewards a little varied, like a slot machine, so that it's not entirely predictable.
The biggest mistake I see is people punishing compliance too often, you should avoid this.
I think what might help is realising that attention is reward. You don't have to go overboard, simply keep giving her attention when she complies and if it's a bigger level of compliance you can simply say "nice" ", that's cool" "how adventurous of you" etc etc